Sorry for Not Posting in a While :)

Where have I been? I kinda took a break from my computer. I was totally confused and conflicted about my decision to start working again. Was I really ready? Will I get freaked out if my ankle hurts too much? How will I fit in my dr's appointments and therapy...with everything I will be doing? Is my boss resentful that I have been out and filed a Worker's Comp Claim? Then to top it off my boss throws out this crazy idea. I'll get to all this later.

I also went to the dr's and got the OK to go back to work part-time. I kinda had to nudge him a little to let me. My ankle is almost completely healed from the staph infection...no more packing it. Yeah! I am wearing the latest fashion... an "air cast" (see pic - not my leg) with a "lovely Ace bandage" around it and using a "4 prong hip black cane". LOL! I have also started therapy again and will be going 3 x a week. What I hate about PT is the thought of being tortured for my own good. What I love is they had me use this really cool machine. It is like an eliptical, but you sit and use it. It works your arms and legs without the stress. I am taking Advil twice a day for my aches and pains and it seems to be working quite well.

Work is another story. I give you a little background on the situation. I am an insurance agent/operations manager/tech geek/problem solver/analysist for a small insurance company. Being out of work has been difficult both for me and the agency I work for. I also knew that no matter what I did prior to being out of work, my gap would be either filled or ignored. My boss basically said "I need you back" and "you are the only one who understands this stuff". So, when I met with him about returning to work, he threw out the idea of working from home. My first thought was ugh! Please understand that I am not ungrateful, but I was looking forward to getting back in the office. I have been isolated so long with this ankle. I love being in the middle of all the hustle and bustle. I miss my customers and the challenges that are thrown at me. So, I was a little sad and concern. How would I do all this from home? Then I kinda sat with it for a few days and realized how lucky I was! My job will be retention, care review calls, revenue tracking, developing processes, analyzing and helping to get a new LLC Business in place. Growing our agency to a 1.5 million dollar agency over the next year. How exciting is that! :) When I looked at the +s and -s I couldn't help but see that this was a good thing. My boss like me and thinks I rock! He also told me that I was the only one in our office that he would offer this situation to. He has full confidence and trust in my decision making process. He has already brought over all this equipment fax/copier/scanner, installed new phone line, cordless headset, new desk. I am waiting for my new computer too! I will meet with him on Wednesdays and go into the office for our weekly Thursday meetings. I still am not complete sure how to begin, but I am in a sense, creating the wheel, so it will be my baby. Ok... and being able to work my own hours, take a day off to go to the beach, work in my sweats, pjs, short or whatever, sit in the backyard to make my calls....aint so bad either. I hope my girls Julie and Kimberly are doing well and welcome the newcomers to my blog. Hugs and Happy Saturday!

So...For the Sake of a Good Laugh

I will divulge what type of procedure I had on Tuesday. I had a colonoscopy. There I said it. I will not go into the gory details because the ankle ickyness is probably enough. I was semi-conscience for it, but thank God I don't remember it. The reason why I am sharing this is because we watched "GhostTown" last night starring Ricky Gervais and Greg Kinnear. The opening sequence Ricky Gervais is getting ready to drink 3 bottles of laxitive for his colonoscopy the next day. We had no idea when we rented it. It was hilarious and I could definitely relate...unfortunately. lol

I have had an interesting week. I had to have a minor procedure done (nothing related to my ankle or shoulder) and have been having sleep issues since. I think the cortisone injection I had for my shoulder, may have something to do with my lack of sleep. I recall when I had the last shot, I had a little too much energy for a few days and didn't require much sleep. Too bad all this extra energy is going to waste. lol!
I have decided to begin to wean off my pain medication. I have been on some form of pain meds since April 08. Mostly Percocet or Hydrocodone. I have been very diligent about not over using my meds, but I did notice that when I had to stop taking them for a few day (I had a minor procedure done on Tuesday), I got very achey and almost flu like symptoms.
Back when I had my first ankle surgery (July 08), I only stayed on the pain meds for first couple of weeks and then only at night when I really needed them. Then when all the this nerve pain started, the pain meds did nothing to help, so I stopped them and started taking the Lyrica (which did nothing but add a few pounds). I also was back to work, so I used ice and swimming as an alternative to relieve some of the pain. This time, the pain has never ebbed. It has stayed at a steady ungodly level. I was taking 2 Percocets three times a day to equal 6 pills total per day. This became my routine. First dose was when I would get my wound packed (a necessary evil), then usually I would take a second dose late in the day and again at bed time. This has been my routine since this last surgery (Dec 15th, 08). I actually tried to step down to the Hydrocodone a few weeks ago and found it did very little as far as pain management.
Now that I am almost done with my Percocet script and I have changed my wound care to right before bedtime, I feel it is a good time for me to start to deal with the day to day pain, in other ways. I will still probably take something right before my wound changes, basically because it hurts like h*ll. Hopefully, when the wound is completely closed up, I can resume swimming, which I am counting on to help with the daily pain management.
I wake up in pain, so I know that what I am doing now is not really managing it well anyways. I know I am not mentally addicted to the meds, but my body has been accustomed to them for so long, that it is not in my best interest to continue to take the meds for the little relief I gain. My feeling on this is that "Yes it su*ks to know that I do need pain meds to be somewhat pain free", and "No life is not fair".
For Kimberly and Julie and any one else with this injury, "Take the pain meds" you need them until you are at least a few weeks out from surgery and maybe longer, as in my case. Don't be afraid to manage your pain the way you need to. My journey is at a much different place right now and this is what is best for me. Blessings and Happy Friday!

Today I would like to ask for prayers specifically for Julie. Julie underwent the same surgery as I had on my ankle (yesterday at 12:30pm). I have not heard how she is doing, but ask for prayers for fast healing and manageable pain.
On another note:
This is what my ankle looks like after we remove the packing yesterday. I am still having quite a bit of pain along the wound and the back of my ankle. I also ended up having a cortisone shot in my right shoulder. I am still waiting for it to work. It can take up to 3 days, so I should be getting some relief by tomorrow. I hope. :)

Kelsea's Pageant Pic

Kelsea's Pageant Pics

We are so proud of her!

Bad/Sad Day for Me

I am having a bad/sad day. I am in some pretty bad pain today. It started to get worse over the weekend. I can't figure out way it hurts more than usual. I am also having shoulder pain again. This started when I was on crutches after my first surgery in July. I ended up having to have a cortizone injection. Every time I needed to get up or move, my shoulder hurts. I have a call into the Dr to have it checked out. I guess everything is just catching up to me. I feel really down and sad today. I am also having bad dreams and when I wake up, I feel unsettled. Maybe that is why my mood is so low?