Sorry for Not Posting in a While :)

Where have I been? I kinda took a break from my computer. I was totally confused and conflicted about my decision to start working again. Was I really ready? Will I get freaked out if my ankle hurts too much? How will I fit in my dr's appointments and therapy...with everything I will be doing? Is my boss resentful that I have been out and filed a Worker's Comp Claim? Then to top it off my boss throws out this crazy idea. I'll get to all this later.

I also went to the dr's and got the OK to go back to work part-time. I kinda had to nudge him a little to let me. My ankle is almost completely healed from the staph infection...no more packing it. Yeah! I am wearing the latest fashion... an "air cast" (see pic - not my leg) with a "lovely Ace bandage" around it and using a "4 prong hip black cane". LOL! I have also started therapy again and will be going 3 x a week. What I hate about PT is the thought of being tortured for my own good. What I love is they had me use this really cool machine. It is like an eliptical, but you sit and use it. It works your arms and legs without the stress. I am taking Advil twice a day for my aches and pains and it seems to be working quite well.

Work is another story. I give you a little background on the situation. I am an insurance agent/operations manager/tech geek/problem solver/analysist for a small insurance company. Being out of work has been difficult both for me and the agency I work for. I also knew that no matter what I did prior to being out of work, my gap would be either filled or ignored. My boss basically said "I need you back" and "you are the only one who understands this stuff". So, when I met with him about returning to work, he threw out the idea of working from home. My first thought was ugh! Please understand that I am not ungrateful, but I was looking forward to getting back in the office. I have been isolated so long with this ankle. I love being in the middle of all the hustle and bustle. I miss my customers and the challenges that are thrown at me. So, I was a little sad and concern. How would I do all this from home? Then I kinda sat with it for a few days and realized how lucky I was! My job will be retention, care review calls, revenue tracking, developing processes, analyzing and helping to get a new LLC Business in place. Growing our agency to a 1.5 million dollar agency over the next year. How exciting is that! :) When I looked at the +s and -s I couldn't help but see that this was a good thing. My boss like me and thinks I rock! He also told me that I was the only one in our office that he would offer this situation to. He has full confidence and trust in my decision making process. He has already brought over all this equipment fax/copier/scanner, installed new phone line, cordless headset, new desk. I am waiting for my new computer too! I will meet with him on Wednesdays and go into the office for our weekly Thursday meetings. I still am not complete sure how to begin, but I am in a sense, creating the wheel, so it will be my baby. Ok... and being able to work my own hours, take a day off to go to the beach, work in my sweats, pjs, short or whatever, sit in the backyard to make my calls....aint so bad either. I hope my girls Julie and Kimberly are doing well and welcome the newcomers to my blog. Hugs and Happy Saturday!

So...For the Sake of a Good Laugh

I will divulge what type of procedure I had on Tuesday. I had a colonoscopy. There I said it. I will not go into the gory details because the ankle ickyness is probably enough. I was semi-conscience for it, but thank God I don't remember it. The reason why I am sharing this is because we watched "GhostTown" last night starring Ricky Gervais and Greg Kinnear. The opening sequence Ricky Gervais is getting ready to drink 3 bottles of laxitive for his colonoscopy the next day. We had no idea when we rented it. It was hilarious and I could definitely relate...unfortunately. lol

I have had an interesting week. I had to have a minor procedure done (nothing related to my ankle or shoulder) and have been having sleep issues since. I think the cortisone injection I had for my shoulder, may have something to do with my lack of sleep. I recall when I had the last shot, I had a little too much energy for a few days and didn't require much sleep. Too bad all this extra energy is going to waste. lol!
I have decided to begin to wean off my pain medication. I have been on some form of pain meds since April 08. Mostly Percocet or Hydrocodone. I have been very diligent about not over using my meds, but I did notice that when I had to stop taking them for a few day (I had a minor procedure done on Tuesday), I got very achey and almost flu like symptoms.
Back when I had my first ankle surgery (July 08), I only stayed on the pain meds for first couple of weeks and then only at night when I really needed them. Then when all the this nerve pain started, the pain meds did nothing to help, so I stopped them and started taking the Lyrica (which did nothing but add a few pounds). I also was back to work, so I used ice and swimming as an alternative to relieve some of the pain. This time, the pain has never ebbed. It has stayed at a steady ungodly level. I was taking 2 Percocets three times a day to equal 6 pills total per day. This became my routine. First dose was when I would get my wound packed (a necessary evil), then usually I would take a second dose late in the day and again at bed time. This has been my routine since this last surgery (Dec 15th, 08). I actually tried to step down to the Hydrocodone a few weeks ago and found it did very little as far as pain management.
Now that I am almost done with my Percocet script and I have changed my wound care to right before bedtime, I feel it is a good time for me to start to deal with the day to day pain, in other ways. I will still probably take something right before my wound changes, basically because it hurts like h*ll. Hopefully, when the wound is completely closed up, I can resume swimming, which I am counting on to help with the daily pain management.
I wake up in pain, so I know that what I am doing now is not really managing it well anyways. I know I am not mentally addicted to the meds, but my body has been accustomed to them for so long, that it is not in my best interest to continue to take the meds for the little relief I gain. My feeling on this is that "Yes it su*ks to know that I do need pain meds to be somewhat pain free", and "No life is not fair".
For Kimberly and Julie and any one else with this injury, "Take the pain meds" you need them until you are at least a few weeks out from surgery and maybe longer, as in my case. Don't be afraid to manage your pain the way you need to. My journey is at a much different place right now and this is what is best for me. Blessings and Happy Friday!

Today I would like to ask for prayers specifically for Julie. Julie underwent the same surgery as I had on my ankle (yesterday at 12:30pm). I have not heard how she is doing, but ask for prayers for fast healing and manageable pain.
On another note:
This is what my ankle looks like after we remove the packing yesterday. I am still having quite a bit of pain along the wound and the back of my ankle. I also ended up having a cortisone shot in my right shoulder. I am still waiting for it to work. It can take up to 3 days, so I should be getting some relief by tomorrow. I hope. :)

Kelsea's Pageant Pic

Kelsea's Pageant Pics

We are so proud of her!

Bad/Sad Day for Me

I am having a bad/sad day. I am in some pretty bad pain today. It started to get worse over the weekend. I can't figure out way it hurts more than usual. I am also having shoulder pain again. This started when I was on crutches after my first surgery in July. I ended up having to have a cortizone injection. Every time I needed to get up or move, my shoulder hurts. I have a call into the Dr to have it checked out. I guess everything is just catching up to me. I feel really down and sad today. I am also having bad dreams and when I wake up, I feel unsettled. Maybe that is why my mood is so low?

Went to the Doctors Today

I went to the doctors today. He said he was pleased with how well we are doing with the packing of the wound. Truth be told, Jake (hubby) does it best. Even through the tears and the pain of the daily ritual, I know that when it is done, he will give me the best hug ever. I still am unable to go back to work for at least another 3 weeks and this is stressing me out. I am also still having a significant amount of pain. My ankle feels very irritated. The pain is throbbing and sharp at the same time.
On another note, my daughter Kelsea is in the Azalea Festival Princess Pageant this weekend. I am hoping that I will be able to get around in the wheelchair. This is another one of those special moments that has become more complicated with my ankle issues. Blessings!

Update and Thought for Today

The first pic is the hole in my ankle. The second is what my ankle looks like after we pack it. Basically, Jake or the nurse shoves in about 6 inches of this gauze stuff and leave a little end to pull out. Most of the hole is beyond the opening. You can kinda see the area around the hole is puffy. My thought for today. I am stronger than I know.

30 Reasons Why I Wish This Never Happened to Me.

Today I thought I would share some stuff about how my ankle injury has impacted my life. First let me say that the injury itself is pretty overwhelming. Then there are the numerous complications and limitations that stem from the original accident.
<-- This is the reason I keep on going and try to stay positive. My sweet daughter Kelsea and my loving husband Jake. :)

30 Reasons Why I Wish This Never Happen to Me

1. I am scared and angry. Let me repeat that "I am scared and angry".
   
2. I am in constant pain (can't remember what it is like to not have pain).
3. I have been unable to return to work & constantly worry about my job.
4. I am unable to enjoy doing things with family .
   
5. I pretty much spend my days on the couch with my leg propped up or in bed. This is the only way I can be somewhat comfortable.
   
6. I am not getting a full paycheck and had to file a WC claim. This is very stressful and money is not just tight, but non-existing.
7. My ankle is controlling my life right now.
8. My family is feeling my stress.
9. I don't know if I will have a job, when all this is said and done.
10. I had to hire a lawyer to help us with this confusing mess.
11. I have my first staph infection and it is no fun.
    
12. I have to have my wound packed everyday, and it hurts like nobodies business.
13. I have gain weight just sitting around.
14. I can't get in the pool to swim, until my infection clears up.
    
15. I am missing all the cool stuff my daughter is doing, and get to only see it on video or by digital photos my hubby takes.
16. Taking a shower is a major effort.
17. Walking with anything in my hands is difficult at best. I either spill, drop or I am shaking too much.
    
18. I have 2 huge scars and a tree trunk for an ankle.
19. I miss walking and driving.
    
20. I realized that even if I wanted to go out to a store, that all the electric carts will either be gone, the batteries will be dead or they don't have them.
21. I have more ice packs in my freezer than I do frozen food.
22. I get my pain meds in quantities of 80
23. I don't cook, clean or enjoy being home anymore.
24. We need to get better cable TV. We only get the local channels to save money.
25. My laptop is a good distraction from the pain.
26. I miss going to church.
27. My dog and 2 cats want to be near me all the time now. They say that pets know when something is wrong.
28. I hate answering my cell phone and get overwhelmed when it rings. I haven't figured out why yet?
    
29. I live in my PJs and sweats and very rarely put on a bra, unless I have an appointment or have to go out.
30. I am trying really hard to put this all in God's hands. Faith is a b*tch!
    

Well, I thought I would give an update. It has been a long week. I went to the doctors on Wednesday and was told that my wound will be a very slow healing process. Taking weeks and weeks...at least 1 month and my wound would slowly heal from the inside out. I am so devastated by this. The pain is intense and I am home bound. I was also having heart palpitations and ended-up finding out that my pulse and blood pressure is high. I had an EKG done...Thank God it was OK. I am now taking a beta blocker. The doctor thinks it is due to the pain level. This week has not been good.
The visiting nurse finally came on Tuesday along with a Worker's Comp rep. She basically treated me like I was 100 years old and kept putting words in my mouth. It was kinda creepy. She told me how to get out of my house in an emergency, to keep a flashlight next to me, hold on to things when I walk. I know they are obligated to do that, but it was a little annoying. She was also suppose to bring everything with her (to pack my wound) and of course she wasn't prepared. I also think she was more concerned with "her" getting contaminated than keeping my wound sterile. She put her gloves on and then picked up her pen, touched stuff other than my wound care things. She also hardly packed anything into the wound and acted like she had never done it before. Even the Worker Comp lady seemed concerned. I called her later and told her we would pack and care for my wound. She said that they would still have to come out a couple times a week to check it. So the nurse is coming in a few. No new pics today. The wound looks pretty much the same. I am out of work again which is a whole other subject. Happy V Day!

Jake had to pack my ankle again - No Nurse Today :(

Jake had to pack my ankle again today. We can't get a hold of the "visiting nurse". Hopefully tomorrow hubby will be released from his job. Here are a few pics of what we have to do and what my wound looks like after we clean it out. Not for the squeamish!

Newest Update ...Bad News

Well, I have an infection in my ankle. The spot that would not heal is now infected. Yuck! This is how I found out. I was told my my therapist to massage my ankle to get the swelling down and to help loosen the scar tissue. So, I started to massage my ankle and all of a sudden it just exploded like a volcano. A whole lot of fluid came shooting out literally. It was gross. Sorry for being so graphic. I went to work the next day and instead of just the little leakage from my incision, it keep soaking the gauze pad and it was very painful. I called the doctor and they told me to come right in. They tested the drainage, said I had an infection and packed my wound. This was very painful! Basically they take a long piece of gauze (1/4 wide) and a long q-tip thingy and just poke this stuff in the wound. It is suppose to wick out the bad stuff and debrided (sp?) the wound. I just know it hurts like he**. Then they tell me no therapy, keep it elevated, take antibiotics (Kefex) and...that I need to repack the wound once a day! The doctor also told me to make sure I take the pain meds 1/2 before we repack it. So, the first day, my loving husband Jake tried to pack it. I unbandaged my ankle and the first thing he said was "Oh, I can't do this." I said "You have to". So, he put on the gloves on and removed the old packing and tried to repack it. He kept pulling out what he packed in by mistake, so I don't think we did it as well as we should have. It was so much harder than it looked, and you have to be so careful not to contamiate the gauze. We have done it twice, but I have decided to have a visting nurse come out to do it once a day. Hopefully she will come tomorrow, so Jake wouldn't have to do it again. :)

Update 1st Week Back to Work

I went back to work on Monday. By the time Friday came around I was wiped out. It was really hard to get past having so much pain during the day. I had hubby bring my wheelchair in, so I could keep my leg elevated. I also kept an ice pack in the freezer at work, which I used towards the end of the work day. I ended up working through my lunch, so I could leave early everyday. My ankle was swollen and painful by the time I got home, so I am icing and keeping it up as much as possible. I also started therapy on Wednesday. I did some stretching exercises, electric stimulation and the ice boot. I am still in the boot until I can get a little more range side to side and get my ankle stronger. I will post a new pic in a few days.

Ankle Update

My ankle still hurts along the back and at the top of my incision. I still have quite a bit of swelling and I am trying to be extra careful not to make my Achilles tendon issue worse. I am still taking pain meds (Percocet) at night and sometimes towards the end of the day. I am still in the Cam Walker when I am up and about. Here is what my ankle looks like today.



I thought I would blog about what I found to be very helpful during this ordeal. Let me say I have no invested interest in any of the products or companies I have listed below. I only listed this information if I knew the product might be hard to find otherwise.

First take a quick peek at this YouTube video. It really made me smile. Tendon Surgery

Here is the "Must Have List"
Cam Walking Boot (currently using)


One thing I did do was add mole skin inside where my stitches and tender spots were. This helped with the rubbing and friction. They sell this at any drug store and Wally World. I recommend getting the Molefoam.


Waterproof Leg Protector (a must have) www.drycorp.com

I used this when I had my cast and during my second surgery when I was still wrapped in bandage and I couldn't get my stitches wet. Here is a video Dry Pro Video




This slips over your cast or leg and you just pump the bulb until all the air is out and you can swim, bath, shower without worry. When you are done you just put your hand the top and it breaks the seal. I have bathed and swam in this.


Foam Contour Pillow - This is a head pillow, but I use it for my leg. It is the perfect fit and it is soft. If your ankle is painful in places this is perfect. They sell them everywhere.
Cryopak Flexible Ice Blanket - I found these at Rite Aid. Not sure if anyone else sell them. They are very thin, flexible and can be cut to size. I used them when I had my cast on. I slid them down in my cast (I know this is a no-no!). You will not be able to get them down to the ankle, but it feels so good on the lower leg. I used a very thin hand towel around it. They only stay cold for so long and it is not a intense cold, just a nice cold.







Shower Chair - This was another must have. I tried balancing on one foot, sitting on the edge of the tub and pretty much any other way to shower. My seat came with a back, which I removed. I also invested in a hand shower.

I hope this was helpful to someone.

On another note, I am going to attempt to return to work on Monday. My only concern is the pain factor and trying to keep my leg elevated. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 11 Surgery #2

Last post was yucky...sorry! I have a new pic. I am now 5 week post-op and 9 months from my accident. WOW! Doesn't look as gross and we are almost in real-time with my posting. I went to the doctors and my major complaint now is that I am having heal pain and can feel this weird horizontal band thing in the back of my heal. Not the bottom, but in the back so...guess what the doctor said? He said it is my Achilles tendon. I am like what? He wants me to stay in the Cam Boot and to start therapy. Told me to be extra careful so I don't damage it. Great! Oh and I am going back to work Monday... that is probably a good thing.

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 11 Surgery #2

So last post I talked about the gross factor. Not that any of this isn't, but at week 4 1/2 post-op I ended up going to the emergency room. Let me explain it was the weekend and my ankle was hot and red and still gross and oozing. I called the doctor's office and they were concerned I had an infection, so off my hubby and I went to the emergency room. My doctor happened to be on call (he wasn't at the hospital). The Dr in the emergency room said it didn't look infected but more like a skin thing. What? He took x-rays and gave me a shot of pain medication (the good stuff) and sent me on my way. What do you think this looks like? Oh, never mind!

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 10 Surgery #2

I will try not to bore you with non-ankle stuff, but I am definitely not going back to work this time until I am up on my own two feet. "Not in a wheelchair and not until the doctor says it is OK". This is about 4 weeks post-op. I know last time I was still in a cast at this point, so I didn't get to see the healing yuckiness. Still gross! Still feeling pain. UGH!

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 9 Surgery #2

I was sad we didn't get to go home for Christmas. I was pretty drugged up, but I don't think I could have done the long car ride. NH also had an ice storm and was without power. I still was sad for my family and myself. Christmas was very quite. Dog, Dad, Cats and Me. Daughter went to a friends for Christmas Eve with my blessings. I didn't want her to miss out.
Picture is what my ankle looks like week 4 after stitches were removed...which hurt like heck this time. What is with that? My ankle is still numb behind incision but I am having a lot of pain in the back of my ankle and where it is bruised. Doc said everything looks good, so I hope he is right!

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 8 Surgery #2

The pain is pretty intense. I do have numbness just behind the incision at the ankle bone. This is the first pictures after surgery. 1 week post-op. You can see part of my old scar towards the bottom front of my foot. I have more bruising and the new incision is higher and longer. I counted about 20 stitches. At this point I am hopefully everything is good!

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 7 Surgery #2

This is day 1 post-op. Surgery number 2. The first thing I notices ...No Cast YIPPY! I came home in a heavy duty ace wrap. The ortho doctor said they moved the nerve and released it off the tendon and moved the tendon. No Neuroma either. That was the first good news I have had through this whole ordeal. I was in a good amount of pain and believe it or not I couldn't get comfortable to sleep. I was also afraid I would hurt my leg without the cast. The nice thing I could ice it. See pic.

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 6 ...WTH

Ok, so by now I am very discouraged. The nerve pain is just ungodly. My ankle looks like this. It is November now and I am 4 months post-op and 7 months after my initial injury. My doctor has given be a pain block. If I am pain free then it is the sural nerve that is causing my pain. Unfortunately...I had no pain for about 2 days. This means that I will need to have a 2nd surgery to free the nerve from the tendon and to check for a neuroma. I don't know if I am more upset this time or last. Everyone keeps saying at least I know what to expect. I keep thinking that is why I am scared sh**less. It is not a good time...not that there is a good time. My job is crazy and I am part of an aquisition team for a new agency we just purchased. And the saddest part for me is this is the only time we go back to New Hampshire (where I am from) for Christmas. And we drive home, which is about 16 hours.
So, I schedule my surgery for December 15th about 5 months after my 1st. I break the news to my boss and cry.

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 5

The next photo above is probably about 15 weeks after surgery. After I was out of the Cam Walker and wearing a slip on shoe (I couldn't get a regular shoe on). I still have a lot of swelling and my ankle is huge. Pain is bad at the end of the day and at night. The nerve pain is driving me crazy! I was hoping this would resolve itself but...

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 4

I am 7 week post-op. and 2nd pretty blue cast is comes off. I am still not feeling like my ankle is getting better. My leg did shrink a bit more, so I could still get ice packs down there. The doctor say I am doing great and I can go into the Cam Walker. I am still having weird sensations in my foot, but it was great to be out of the cast. I didn't take a photo...I wish I had. I am still having pain and decided to drop down my pain meds. Not really smart but I couldn't take them at work anyways. The doctor said I am having nerve pain and gave me a prescription for Lyrica. Jumping ahead a bit, the Lyrica caused me to gain some extra lbs. Which I didn't need. I began swimming after work to try to get a handle on the nerve issues and get my leg working again.

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 3

About 3 weeks after my surgery, I made the huge mistake of going back to work. Yes, my darling husband drove me to work everyday and pushed me in a wheelchair. I say it was a mistake because I was in horrible pain and was trying to do a job that required way too much of me when I was 100%. I was miserable. In this next picture I am just about 4 week post-op (after 1st blue cast came off). My ankle looks pretty gross (sorry for the bad photo). The pain is pretty consistent and my leg has shrunk so much I can slip a very thin flat ice pack down my cast. I can't get it down to my incision, but it feels good anyway. I remember that this was about the time I started having these weird sensations in my ankle, like electrical shocks. I was thinking it was just because I hadn't moved my ankle in like forever. Cast number 3 went on (another light Carolina Blue one) and I remember thinking I just wanted to take my ugly ankle and go home.

Peroneal Tendon Injury Part 2

This is what happened next...
I had my surgery on July 8th and came home in this (sorry for the very bad photo). They called it a surgical cast. In reality, it was a very big heavy monstrosity of a thing. The doctor repaired my tendon tear and did a Brostrom stabilization of my ligaments. He also did a pain block which gave me about 2 days of manageable pain. I was able to get to the bathroom about 3 steps with a walker and a lot of help(no weight bearing). I mainly needed help because the cast was so heavy and awkward. The doctor also said to just stay on the pain meds (Percocet) every two hours to maintain my pain level. This was the best advise. No waking up in unbearable pain. I had my first surgical follow-up 1 week later. I didn't take a second picture until week 2. Cast 2 was blue and a lot lighter. Photo 2 is 2 weeks post op. when the 1st blue cast was removed. Stitches were removed at this time. Be warned they are very vivid and graphic.

How it all happened Part 1

I have not read much on this type of injury, so I have decided to post my experience. This is not your typical blog. I am back blogging in segments starting back on April 10th 2008, when I was injured in a bizarre accident. I was walking back into work and was tripped up by a dog that was tied to the rail at the back door. Unbeknown to me, I subsequently tore my Peroneus Brevis tendon.
I was initially told that I had a bad sprain and limped about on it for a few weeks, until the pain got unbearable. I went back to the urgent care doctor who now said I had torn ligaments. He put me in a air splint, gave me pain meds and told me to make an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. I made an appointment and the ortho doc said basically the same thing and told me to stay in the splint and to return if pain and swelling wasn't better within the next week. I ended up going back to the ortho doc who said that now that the overall swelling was better, he was now pretty sure I had a torn tendon. The MRI confirmed I had a longitudinal tear in my Preroneus Brevis tendon and I was scheduled for surgery on July 8, 2008. It will be about 9 weeks from the day of my accident.

What can I expect? I am scheduled for surgery July 8th and will be in a surgical cast for 1 week. In a plaster cast for 2 weeks (no weight bearing), stitches out, in another cast for 4 weeks (light weight bearing with crutches and then walking boot for 4 weeks. The recovery is a 6 to 9 month deal. Hopefully shorter.

This is a very good link that give quite a bit of information on the surgery (be warned very graphic pics) procedure and location of the tendon.

http://www.myfootshop.com/detail.asp?Condition=Peroneal+Tendon+Rupture

Where and what is the Peroneus Brevis...you ask?